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Tact is the ability to appreciate the delicacy of a situation and to do or say the kindest or most fitting thing. The word originally referred to touch.

To avoid being tactless, we should strive to be kind to people, for we do not know how they really feel. We should always be alert to signs that reveal a person’s feelings and respond with a kind word or act.

When a person is overly concerned with the importance of his job, he can easily fall to recognize or care about the needs of those he deals with. He is much like the proverbial bus driver who was so concerned with arriving on time that he did not stop to pick up passengers.

Here are two tips to maintain tactfulness:

•    Show that you understand – Tact is especially important when you have a complaint against someone. You can so easily hurt his dignity. Specific commendation is always appropriate first. Rather than criticize him, concentrate on the problem. Explain how his action affects you and exactly what you would like to see changed. Then be prepared to listen. Perhaps you have misunderstood him.

People like to feel that you understand their viewpoint even if you do not agree with it. When a person speaks of some problem, rather than offering a solution before hearing the matter out, a tactful way of showing that you understand is to repeat the problem or complaint in your own words.

This is a kind way of showing that you understand.

•    Recognize what not to say – When Queen Esther wanted to ask her husband to undo Haman’s plot to destroy the Jews, she tactfully arranged matters so that her husband would be in good mood. Only then did she broach this delicate topic. But it is also instructive to notice what she did not say. She tactfully omitted reference to her husband’s share in the responsibility in the evil scheme. — Esther 5:1-8; 7:1, 2; 8:5.

Similarly, when you notice anyone who has a wrong viewpoint, it may be best not to correct him right away. Tact includes kindly recognizing what not to say.

Learning the art of tactful speech will help you to enjoy happy relations with others, even when someone has misunderstood your motives and is bitter and resentful.

Try always to consider how your words will affect other people. Making the effort to be tactful will help you to experience the joy described at Proverbs 15:23: “A man has rejoicing in the answer of his mouth, and a word at its right time is oh how good!”